- Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint
- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- It’s widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris’ stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris’ skin.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Lol
